Devil’s Dictionary: At last, an organisation worse than Cricket Australia

The Labor Party’s leadership crisis has done what many believed was impossible. It proves once and for all that there is actually a worse organisation in the country than Cricket Australia. This must come as a great relief to those who run the game.

Even better, the attempts by the Labor party to explain the whole thing away is actually a worse exercise in spinning than the tripe being served up by our slow bowlers in India. Hard to believe, but true.

Here are some management words that are a little hard to believe.

APRA: The Australian Pontificating Rubbernose Association. The regulator you have when you don’t have a regulator.

Corporate humility: A difficult concept to describe, mainly because it doesn’t exist.

Delegation: If blame is worth taking, it is worth passing on to someone else. All part of the skill set in modern leadership.

Financial planner: If a management consultant steals your watch to tell you the time, then a financial planner just steals your watch. Because he planned it that way.

National security legislation: Laws about the security of the nation that will make the nation more secure with respect to the national interest in respect of security such that laws have been legislated at a national level to ensure they are secure. We would like to tell you more, but it is a secret. Matter of national security, apparently.

Rational choice theory: A concept for modelling consumer behaviour that only someone as irrational as an economist would believe in.

Third sector path finders: What the Australian cricket coach calls lower-order batsmen. It is unlikely that he will be able to find a path way out of his own nonsense.