How do I stop team members gossiping and causing disruption to my team?

SmartCompany’s article this week about Fair Work Australia overturning a decision to sack a worker for gossiping raises an interesting question. As a team leader can you influence a culture where team members don’t gossip and back-bite?

Welcome to the human condition! Most people gossip, however it’s the level that some people go to that can undermine and derail a team that causes problems. A challenge: how long can you go without gossiping about anyone in any form, mild or otherwise? Refer and only talk about what concerns you directly. Give it a go; you may be surprised or mortified by the results.

What is gossip? The Oxford online dictionary definition is: casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details which are not confirmed as true. Most gossip is built on some fact and then in the telling/retelling begins to include more fiction than fact.

Work place gossip (like gossip in any situation) undermines relationships. A successful team is built on solid healthy relationships which are built on trust. Trust disintegrates rapidly in a culture where gossip is the acceptable norm. What are you creating in your team as the acceptable norm?

The impact of gossiping in the workplace are obvious to us all, however it’s useful to see it written down to remind ourselves why it is so damaging.

Gossiping:

• Undermines your credibility and integrity.
• Creates a lack of trust, both within the team and for the person who is gossiping.
• Damages team unity and cooperation.
• Impacts on performance, usually resulting in an underperforming team.
• Magnifies an issue. Usually a person will gossip about another as a way of avoiding an issue with that individual. This can result in the issue escalating and exploding into something bigger and more charged than it needed to be.
• Negatively impacts on communication, resulting in a team who do not collaborate which impacts on performance.
• Damages reputations, the reputation of the person who is gossiping and the reputation of the person being gossiped about.

As a leader, here are a few ideas to help you manage gossiping in your team:

• Talk openly to your team about the damaging impact that gossip has on individuals and the credibility and reputation of the team.
• If someone comes to you and complains or gossips about another team member clarify why they are giving you this information. Do they need your help to work through a situation or do they need you to organise a meeting with the individual(s) to discuss the issue? If they needed someone to vent with then be careful about how you proceed. You can coach them through the situation, being careful not to join in on the gossip or you can simply state that while you are happy to help them work through the situation, you are not happy to get drawn into a venting session. Explain that it doesn’t serve either of you to do so.
• Be mindful that as humans we all have our own map of the world, a way of perceiving things to be true (for us). Asking some clarifying questions and challenging the reality of the situation can sometimes help to diffuse tension. You are only hearing one side of the story, be sure to check facts before reacting on the information being provided.
• Model the behaviour you want to see. Under no circumstances engage in gossip about any team member or person outside of your team.
• Check in with your HR team about the company policy for dealing with gossip in the work place. What accountability can you enforce if the gossiping doesn’t stop? Are you able to link this into a performance discussion when reviews are given?
• Keep yourself honest! Have you been influenced by the gossip you have just heard? This is good reason to cut off the conversation when gossip begins.
• As a leader there may be times when you need to vent about a team members’ behaviour. Take some time to get really clear about what you need to talk about? Are you venting? Are you getting personal? We are all human and as humans none of us are perfect. However, with some thought about this now (while you are not angry or upset by someone’s behaviour and not needing to vent) you can put some steps in place to help you when you need it. A good one (and much used) is to write it down, write down everything you are feeling and want to say and then of course shred it. Once you have downloaded you can ask yourself – ‘What’s the real issue here’? Then find someone you trust and be honest. Tell them you are struggling with an individual(s) and need to vent. You may wish to keep the identity of the person to yourself and use the person you are talking to as a sounding board.

Can you stop gossip in your team? You may not be able to eradicate it completely, however with strong leadership you can stop harmful gossip from undermining your team and your team’s performance.

• Begin with yourself and the senior management team/owners of the company. Behave as you want your employees to behave and set the culture from the top down.
• Address a gossiping culture head on by scheduling meetings and discussing the situation with your team, clearly communicating the consequences (having checked what you are able to enforce).
• Create a code of conduct with your team. In my next blog I will provide a guide on how to create a code of conduct for your team.

Pollyanna Lenkic is the founder of Perspectives Coaching, an Australian based coaching and training company. In 1990 she co-founded a specialist IT recruitment consultancy in London, which grew to employ 18 people and turnover £11 million ($27 million). In this blog Pollyanna answers questions from our readers on issues they are experiencing leading or being part of a team.  She offers insights on teams and team dynamics. For support and information on team days run by Perspectives Coaching see here. Her previous Blog for SmartCompany, 2nd Time Around was about the mistakes she made and the lessons she learned building a business the first time round and how to do it better second time round.