I need to fire a friend. Help!

This article first appeared August 24, 2011.

Dear Aunty B,

I am not a wuss and have been able to make hard decisions on staff members before who are under performing. But I have two long-term staff members who cannot adapt to the new direction that we need to take.

One is an older person who just does not understand the need to shift to a digital space and can’t grasp technology at all, despite us all spending a lot of time training her. She keeps asking the same questions over and over and I can replace her with someone very savvy with online experience, who is a lot cheaper and can show a lot of initiative.

The other person will not change the nature of their job and take on new duties despite a number of discussions, new job descriptions, performance reviews.

Now Aunty, we have done everything by the Fair Work site so I am not worried about legal issues, but my problem is finding the will to do it. My business partner and I keep putting it off because we just can’t face it. I thought to myself the other day that we are just never going to do it because we will feel so bad.

How do we make ourselves do it and do we do them on the same day or space it out? Or is there another way around this? At times like this I wish I worked for a large company where you can just shift people off to new jobs where they can fit in. Also one of them is good friends with us both. She has been with us since we started the business. How do we keep that friendship going? We have to make the decisions because our retail business is really suffering.

In pain, in anticipation.

Lauren
NSW

Dear Lauren,

You poor things. I can’t say anything to make you feel better. I can quote guru Jim Collins about getting the right people on the bus. And how you are stealing precious time from people who are on the wrong bus. And that you are liberating them and doing them a favour by stopping the bus and letting them get off.

Well, it’s a nice thought and I go into those difficult situations hoping in fact that the person will jump up and say thanks! But it has never happened. And I always find it the worst part of my job.

Not helping you? Too bad. Because that’s the point. It is painful for most of us, yet it has to be done. One point that Jim does make is he describes it as rigorous management not ruthless management. What does help me do it is to imagine the future. The decision has been made, the staff that have propped up these under performing people are relieved. Then the new people come on board and you think, why didn’t we act sooner?

So set the day. Set the time. I always do it later in the afternoon. Know you will go home feeling awful and plan a comforting evening. Then look forward to a new day. As to the friendship? Tell her you hope you can remain friends and leave it up to her.

Be smart,
Your Aunty B

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