My employee turned a legitimate request into a nasty attack

Dear Aunty B,

I have a long standing employee who by virtue of my personal situation, is very important to manning my business at school holiday times when I am not around. We have quite a close relationship, however he doesn’t take direction too well at times, particularly when it comes to documenting important matters, allowing others to deal with matters when he is away.

Recently he was away on holiday and I was faced with three critical issues with a client and no documentation had been done by this employee on all three. I called him and asked him where the information was and he turned around (and incorrectly) said that I did not document things myself and that he would do so if I did and that if I expected people to do so then I should lead by example!

He then accused me of being rude to him all while he interrupted me and raised his voice. I did not raise my voice, swear or criticise him in any way. I feel this guy thinks he is so indispensable that he can talk to me in anyway he wishes. It was disrespectful and bizarre. I don’t pay people $100k to treat me like this and it shows an unhealthy attitude. I can not let it pass, but at the same time it’s a sensitive issue as he is taking mood medication and he hasn’t been well recently. How should I best approach this issue?

Thanks,
Neil

PS. I think I know the answers but I would still like to hear your ideas.

Dear Neil,

You’re the boss. And occasionally employees, no matter how much you value them, need a reminder of this. So the first thing to address is the way he talked to you.

Make it clear that he is never to address you in that way again. And you state it clearly like this: “I am the boss and you don’t speak to me in that way”. Don’t go into who said what. If he protests just gently remind him that you are the boss and no one speaks to you like that.

Also remind him that it is irrelevant if you are swinging from the chandelier in a monkey suit. He is expected to do his job, which means documentation, as people can’t read his mind. I am quite sure your employee is feeling quite bad about the way he has spoken to you and will be looking forward to clearing the air. Make sure you finish the meeting on a positive note and that he feels appreciated for the hard work he has done all year. And you are clear on when he will be taking his break so you can talk about his holiday with him.

As you said, you know what to do.

Be smart,
Your Aunty B

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