My employee can’t take constructive criticism. Help!

Dear Aunty,

I have a highly valued employee who executes perfectly, is highly driven, has loads of energy, is fiercely loyal and a great member of the team.

But she is also a perfectionist who is quite nervous and she interprets feedback as criticism. She gets really cross and shuts down if I say anything remotely negative.

I need to do her six-month review and wondered if you had any suggestions or tips how to do it in a way she doesn’t find threatening and actually hears what I am saying. I pointed out a mistake she made the other day which is rare for her and she almost bit my head off!

A colleague suggested I do it in a less threatening environment such as over lunch at the local sushi joint.

TS,
Brisbane

Dear TS,

Lunch in a restaurant won’t help. She will still be listening to what comes out of your mouth even though it is stuffed full of rice and raw fish.

This is a woman who hates to make mistakes. It makes her feel like a failure and that she is not pleasing you when you give her feedback, which is what she absolutely wants to do.

What you need to do is this. You start off with a lot of love. Take her to a level where she feels like the highly valued employee she is. Don’t just run through her positive points, explain how much she means to the company and to you. Gush. Get teary. And then get very serious.

Explain that the company needs to take the next step. Show her that her role in this huge endeavour is crucial to its success. And then outline the new things you need from her.

Tell her that you are concerned she will take this in the wrong way, when in fact it is a helpful suggestion to help take the company to the next level. Make her feel that she matters to you and the company. And most importantly, express the confidence that she can take on board the suggestions and that you are looking forward to reviewing her very positively in six months time. And then let her speak about her new plans and end the review on a high five!

Be smart,
Your Aunty B

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