The chairman has invited me to dinner but I don’t know if it’s a date. Help!

Dear Aunty B,

I have had a strange invitation from the chairman of my board to go out to dinner. I was so taken aback that I agreed to go, thinking it might be a quick bite after work. But then he invited me to his house on a Saturday night.

I am head of our state’s sales force so while I provide the board with a monthly report, I actually don’t have much else to do with him – he’s a non-executive chairman so he doesn’t even work at my company. I am wondering how I can ask him about the evening. It recently came up when we were chatting before a meeting that he and I are both divorced so I don’t have to be concerned about a wife. I am not sure if it is a party, dinner with just the two of us or what the occasion is. And I don’t want to assume it is a date and then go along and be disappointed because he is a very social, interesting and intelligent man although there is a bit of an age difference.

How do I ask him about the dinner? He might get embarrassed if I imply something that hadn’t entered his head. I don’t even have his phone number and it will draw attention to myself if I ask any staff in the office.

Debbie ,
Melbourne

Dear Debbie,

So the first step is to get his email. How?? Good heavens. Like any good journalist. You Google him, ring up his personal office, pretend you have forgotten his PA’s name, get the PA’s name and then get put through to them, dropping the PA’s name into every sentence as if you and the chairman have talked about the PA for hours.

Say to the PA you have been invited to his house for dinner and explain that you don’t know what to wear or bring and you need his email. His PA will so understand as he or she spends a lifetime trailing after said chairman making sure he leads a functional life. In fact, by the end of the conversation the PA will be your lifelong friend. 

Next you send the chairman an email, telling him you are looking forward to the night. Ask him if it is a party or a dinner and what to wear. Spell it out as he will probably reply with a useless response like husbands do when you ask them what to wear. Ask him is it a formal occasion requiring a cocktail dress or it is a casual party. Also ask him what to bring. I am sure he will reply with enough detail so that you know what lies in store.

The next thing to do is relax!  You can’t lose. You are either having dinner with an interesting man or going along to an evening where you will meet his interesting friends. 

Be smart,
Your Aunty B