Should I feel guilty about being a full-time entrepreneur and part-time mum?

Dear Aunty B,

I have a personal question for you as you have said you have teenage children whom I am sure are well rounded individuals who will one day take their rightful place in society and make a great contribution.

What is the optimum amount of time I need to spend with them to ensure my own offspring are as well adjusted? My two boys are 10 and 12 and I have been running my business from home but really see an opportunity to move into an office and ramp it up. But I think that will move me from a part-time mum and part-time worker to a full-time business owner. Do I need to feel guilty?

Loraine

Ps. Do you actually clip them your Gen Y staff around the ears like you tell us to do?

Dear Loraine,

I don’t physically clip them around the ears but I do quite regularly give them an ear bashing.

Look, I like your thinking. It is very important to take a pragmatic approach to child rearing. The good news is that the hard work has been done. By the time they are 10 and 12 they are “cooked”. Now is the perfect time for their mother to get out of their way so they grow into independent, resilient men instead of useless, mollycoddled, sexist, gormless nitwits.

Being a full-time business owner working at least 50 hours a week is guaranteed to get them looking after themselves, taking responsibility for their own school marks and making them super organised. It’s a long walk back to school if they forget to bring home a text book. They get into great habits.

I like your use of optimum time too. All the entrepreneurs I know who have raised lovely children (myself included) have learnt to do several things very well. Firstly, we outsource everything. So when you are home you focus on relaxing. Dinner is easy to organise because you have a clean house, partly prepared food and helpers. One of my sons always helps with the cooking and the other washes the saucepans.

Next, when you are with them – focus! No mobiles at dinner. No news on the TV. Talk to them. Sometimes it will not be very rewarding as moody teenagers often don’t feel like talking. But too bad. Persist.

Thirdly, be very attuned to their moods. Is there any change in behaviour? Is anything worrying them? Are they happy? Make sure at night as you are lying in bed that you think about them. Anything worrying you about their behaviour, school performance, friendship circle? You must learn to see signs even though you are busy.

Fourth, attend the things that matter to them the most. If they are great at tennis, go to their tennis matches. Never miss an important function – not just because of them but because you want to be there and be part of it also.

Fifth, have something you share together as a family. Go on regular holidays together and really let loose. We go on great beach holidays together and the family all surfs (I mind towels and provide food).

Sixth, be really, really interested in them and show them a lot of affection. And share your life with them. You will find that running a small business with its dramatic highs and lows is very interesting to them. I often ask their advice and seek their opinions on what I should do and often I get a really great answer.

As for guilt? What a waste of emotion. If you are feeling guilty, make some readjustments so you don’t.

Be smart,
Your Aunty B

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