Is fondling ear lobes okay or am I a stuck up prude?

Dear Aunty B, 

I have a really weird problem which might be outside your expertise but here it goes…

I co-own a medium-sized business in the finance industry and we recently employed a yoga teacher to take a one hour session once a week at our workplace. He was our second yoga teacher after the first one got pregnant and he came very highly recommended.

Anyway, the first session was fine but at our second yoga session he asked half the class to lie down on their stomachs and the remaining people had to straddle them and stroke their earlobes. It was very confronting and I felt incredibly uneasy about it, especially as I was his partner and he used me to demonstrate!

When I asked him after the class how necessary that was he told me we were too uptight and that this built trust. The third lesson went okay and the only physical contact was when half the class were asked to hold the legs of the other half of the class against the wall while they stood on their heads.

But our most recent yoga session was the worst. He asked half the class to put their hands on the lower stomach of the rest of the class to monitor their breathing. Lower he instructed people who put their hands on someone else’s navel to avoid sticking their hands just above their you know what.

Again when I complained he told me that other workplaces were fine with their sessions and he would send me references. His belief is that if there is more physical trust between people then they perform better as a team.

I think it is disgusting but maybe I am an uptight prude who doesn’t want some strange man touching me whether in the name of yoga or not. Apart from one young single guy who has found the lessons too difficult to handle and has asked to be excused from all sessions, most of the staff appear to be enjoying themselves.

TM,
Gold Coast

Dear TM,

You have got to be kidding. What are you thinking? Sack him immediately. Why anyone would want to stand on their heads at lunchtime is beyond me. It is hard enough by lunchtime just putting one foot in front of the other!

But fondling ear lobes and hands on abdomens goes way over the line. What line? THE LINE. The line that most normal people would agree exists in the workplace and stops colleagues wandering up and putting their hands wherever they want.

Maybe this man works in massage parlours when he refers to workplace references. But what he is doing is totally unsuitable in the workplace. And are you sure most of the employees are enjoying themselves? It sounds like a slow form of torture to me.

Move him on and tell your staff you are looking for someone more appropriate. Then tell the next yoga teacher the story so she/he understands the boundaries.

Be smart,
Your Aunty B

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