My business partner (also my dad) is a micro-managing control freak. Help!

Dear Aunty B,

I have been in business with my dad for a couple of years now.

Personally our relationship is very good and we haven’t had any real problems with each other thus far.

He has had the business for about 10 years and has worked tirelessly in it, day and night for most of these 10 years, and naturally I have a huge amount of respect for him.

The problem is, he is a serious micro-manager. He seems completely unable to delegate a task to someone, trust that they are able to complete the task and review it once complete.

He insists they are incapable, and will ride them until they turn to me and beg for mercy, which, in turn causes me distraction. It is a pretty vicious cycle.

It was originally a problem within the business – he wanted to do everything himself (or at least baby everyone along), however, it now seems to be branching out into the relationships with our suppliers.

For example, I have built up a fairly good relationship with one supplier who is essentially the key to our competitive advantage at the moment, and my dad is starting to really rub them up the wrong way.

I am afraid that if it continues, they will no longer want to do business with us.

How can I get him to see the bigger picture – to focus on the strategy? I am positive that if he does this, not only will he enjoy business more, but so will our staff and suppliers!

Any help or advice would be extremely appreciated.

MC,
Sydney

Dear MC,

Two points to make: First walk in his shoes for a moment. What is driving him is fear. If he lets his foot off the pedal for one minute, the business will collapse. How well I know that feeling.

Secondly, it is probably part of his personality to pay a lot of attention to detail. And it has worked. That focus is a big reason he has been successful so far.

So you need to do several things. First, counter the fear. Get him to understand that the business is in a completely different position to where it was even a few years ago. Get him to feel safe and successful.

Often entrepreneurs are very good at sounding really confident but they can be the last person to see that their business has suddenly reached a new stage and they are missing opportunities by not managing at that new level. What can you help that situation?

Take my example. I have been very fortunate in having a board that constantly gets me to stick my head up and take stock. A constant comment is you are further ahead than you think. It is always true. That realisation then takes you to the next stage of, well what’s next? And it makes you then reconsider everything from marketing material to cash provisions to suitability of staff along with of course, the strategy and vision for the next stage and the stage after.

So here is what you do. Have lots of conversations with your dad where you work on relieving his fear and making him feel successful. Do you need to get more cash reserves so he is less nervous for example? Do you have the right people in place so he can take his eye off the suppliers and know the business will be okay? Then remind him once you are sure everything is in place that times have changed and younger people – including suppliers – HATE being micromanaged and will sever relationships. Ask him how he would like to be managed in that way? And explain it is even worse for younger people who are used to having more control and respect?

You also need to make sure you have some successful entrepreneurs on your board who have taken their business to the next stage who will challenge your dad to work on strategy and question what he is doing being so hands on with suppliers. Make sure you put on the board someone he really respects and listens to and then word them up.

Last of all, make sure your mum or step mum is on board so that whenever he raises the issue in bed at night she tells him off for being so concerned with suppliers and diverts him onto his golf handicap.

That ought to do it.

Be smart,
Your Aunty B

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