My promising staff member has no direction. Help!

Dear Aunty B,

I have a promising young staff member in her early 30s, who is doing a good job and is part of our fast track “leaders” program. However, she has told me in her last performance review that while she loves the job and our workplace, she is unsure what she is doing with her life and she is not sure how much longer she will be with my firm.

I have been coaching her and spending a lot of time with her and I have her direct report working with her on a career plan and financial plan. But yesterday he has just told me she is still unsure what she wants to do with her life. As this stage I feel like telling her I don’t bloody care as I also suspect she is looking for jobs as she takes off half a day a week here and there.

Is it worth persisting or is she going to leave anyway?

Sick of trying,
Fitzroy

Dear Sick of trying,

Just a sec while I look into my crystal ball. Oh! Yep! I can see your future. And guess what? She leaves you. Sorry about that. Oh. And I can see you going home, drinking too much gin while you ask yourself what else you could have done. The answer? Nothing.

Who the hell knows what’s going on with her in her personal life. She might have been brought up by a bunch of do-gooders who have told her money is bad and she will find happiness working for a dysfunctional not-for-profit: not that all – or even most not-for-profits are dysfunctional, I hasten to add.

She may be more comfortable being a cog in a large corporate. She may want to start her own Google or have babies, or start a charity in Laos. Who knows what she may want to do. But that has nothing to do with you. What you have to do is be prepared to let her go. Stop the mentoring and the coaching. Stop the special treatment.

And what do you mean you “suspect” she is looking for jobs? That’s like saying you “suspect” your teenage son is having sex with girlfriend. Of course she is looking for a job.

But you know what? Soon she will come into your office, shut the door and say she is resigning. And you my friend will feel nothing but relief. So move on!

Good luck,
Your Aunty B

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