My success is causing me to lie to my husband

Dear Aunty B,

I have been running my own business for nine years very successfully. My salary is now larger than my husband and I plan to take a large dividend this financial year.

My problem is that my husband is from a European background and is very proud about being the “bread winner”. I have been dealing with the problem by not fully declaring to him how much I am making and will make. I am starting to feel guilty. Should I? And how does he keep his pride while I bring in the money?

Thanks,
Sensitive

Dear Sensitive,

Oh, what a lovely problem to have. I bet most men in Australia would happily change places. Look, a recent study called Women, Men and the New Economics of Marriage by researchers at the Pew Research Centre show that in 1970 only 4% of wives (aged between 30-44 years old) earned more than their husbands. By 2007, that was 22%.

In 1970, 28% of husbands had more education than their wives. By 2007 that had fallen to 19%.

See, the world has changed. Women now are likely to be as highly educated as their husbands and many are earning more money, especially if they are running their own businesses.

Of course this is only going to increase. Here is what you must do. Make sure he pays all the “bread winner” bills, get him doing some stuff around the house and let him know how much you value his contribution to the household. Talk loudly and often to anyone who will listen about what a great partner he is.

As for you, time to ‘fess up. Tell him how much money you are making and ask him to meet with you and a financial adviser to talk about how you can invest it for the future.

Gradually over time, offer to help him with some of the household bills. And talk about what he might contribute to your “future fund”.

Believe me, he will get used to it.

Good luck!
Your Aunty B