I am a friend, not a boss. Help!

Dear Aunty B,

Recently we have a new employee join our team. My job is to oversee the employee. The first few weeks were great and no mistakes were being made even though they were going through the training phase.

Since the Melbourne Cup though more and more mistakes have started creeping in and it is beginning to frustrate me. I have asked the employee why the error occurred, so that we could fix any processes that were not clear or improve our workflow so these mistakes did not repeat themselves. I was met with silence each time I have this question, but I believe that is my own fault at letting my frustration be evident with the employee.

I feel like I am making the same mistakes I did with our last employee, becoming too close and having the employee believe I was more of a friend instead of a manager.

Have you got any tips for me or books to read so I can become a better manager and overcome issues like this?

Frustrated Manager

Dear Frustrated Manager,

Sometimes showing a bit of frustration – appropriately worded – to an employee lets them really understand how crucial their contribution is and how important it is they do their job properly.

However, this employee is still new and maybe does not know the system well enough to give you a 360-degree of how things are working.

Be patient and keep showing them the right way to do it.

Another idea is to get one of their peers to be an informal mentor for six months to show them the ropes. That way you distance yourself a little and can talk to the employee about the results and the bigger vision for their role and the company.

And it doesn’t sound to me like you are too friendly. If the person is not up to the job that will be evident over time. But treating them in a friendly warm way is not resulting in them making errors. Usually friendly managers have the opposite affect: people like them and so they work harder to please them.

As for books – just read SmartCo every day (Eve Ash, Julia Bickerstaff) and you’ll pick up useful tips to become a better manager!

Good luck,
Your Aunty B

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