How do I tell if they are having an affair?

Dear Aunty B,

One of our staff is having an affair with someone in our office. I want to point this out to him but I don’t know for sure and don’t want to raise it as I think he will think me out of line.

But he also needs to see how he is acting because a few people have already picked up on it and mentioned it to me along the lines of he is favouring her.

When someone first said something it was about the way he would stare at her. I then noticed that too because his desk looks across the office straight at her desk and he spends a lot of time looking at her side profile. So that was the first sign. Then I noticed them having lunch together in a place he would never go. There is no reason for them to have lunch together. And he’s a skinflint and never eats in really nice restaurants unless someone else is paying. Then at our normal Friday lunch at the pub that we have every month he didn’t order his usual garlic bread because now all of a sudden garlic doesn’t agree with him!

The other day he was on his way out and passed her desk and she took off his glasses in front of everyone, cleaned them and put them back on his nose! Now it is so obvious to me I can’t believe the rest of the office hasn’t noticed.

But the most embarrassing thing was when he got back from an overseas trip and he bought her an expensive coffee table “art” book that has a half nude woman on the front. He then came up to her in the middle of the day and gave it to her! I asked him why he didn’t bring us all back a book and he said they “share an interest in art”.

He is twice her age and he operates in his own little bubble. His wife left him because he is a workaholic and he is not aware of how he comes across which is like a nutty professor, which is actually his nickname. I feel like someone should tell him because he is making a fool himself but I don’t know how.

RT,
Sydney

Dear RT,

Are you nuts? So what if your nutty professor has a crush. Lots of people in offices have harmless little crushes. Gee. It’s half the fun of coming to work!

RT, you have things out of proportion. Staring at her back and waving away the garlic bread are not lead indicators of inappropriate behavior. And the fact he has bought a book back for her from overseas doesn’t mean he is bonking her. And what if he is? It’s kinda cute.

Here is what you should do. There is a recovery on the way. Your company needs to have on hand the right skills to expand your business. It needs to be focused with everyone pulling in the same direction. Stop worrying about petty, harmless things in the office and focus on the big picture. How are you going to expand, make more money, increase jobs, get a big fat return for shareholders in 2010 and change the world for the better? That should keep you busy!

So no. Keep your mouth shut and your eyes on the horizon.

Good luck,
Your Aunty B

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