Have that conversation

At least, being second time around, I have mistakes that I can learn from. And even better – I’m willing to share…

It’s not always easy to look back at the mistakes that I made when I had my business in London all those years ago. I often want to hold back on writing where it all went wrong and focus on the great stuff, and there was a lot of that too.

I remember being in the office one Saturday morning plugging away at an urgent job vacancy for a client. My business partner came in and did his nut! Why was I in the office on my own and where was my researcher?

The conversation continued and I found myself picking up the phone and calling her with his prompting. As you can imagine the conversation didn’t go so well.

And as I picked up the phone I knew with every core of my being that it was the wrong thing to do, and I did it anyway.

I then got to feel angry and upset about being pushed into a course of action I didn’t want to take, when in fact what had happened is that I had abdicated responsibility for my actions and behaviours by blaming someone else. In this case, my business partner, for pressuring me.

It is often easier to blame others for our own short comings – the truth was that I could have chosen a different action.

So why didn’t I?

• I didn’t listen to that moment of intuition, that gut feel that this wasn’t right. Not taking the time to explore this helped me ignore it. And we know it comes back, usually as guilt and self reproach.
• I lacked confidence in my own opinion and thought on this situation.
• I had no awareness of my values and principles. Therefore I had no foundation from which to draw strength from.
• I had little or no awareness of what type of leader/manager I wanted to be.
• I lacked the personal development that comes with having a great mentor or coach.

What would I advise the younger me back then?

• Always listen to your intuition, take time to hear the message and then choose how to react/respond.
• Be clear about what you stand for, know and communicate your principles and values. More importantly, be congruent – live them.
• Research the great leaders of the world and pick the three traits that you admire most, and begin to live those traits.
• Find a mentor and a coach that you admire and respect, and one that will challenge you.
• Be courageous and look at the mistakes you have made and learn from them.

What is the courageous conversation that you need to have with yourself today?

For more Second Time Around, click here.