Opinion: Can we please talk about the mental load employers carry?

I run an HR consultancy, which means all of my clients are employers. 

In this role, I’ve had a front-row seat to something which has been unspoken for too long: the mental load that employers carry. And how it has been exacerbated in the past three years. 

And even though these people are burnt out, broken, and often struggling to keep it all together, we’re not talking about them. 

Or even if we do talk about them — their needs should be second to that of their teams, and their clients, right?

Why is that? Because they are ‘privileged’ to run businesses, there’s an unspoken expectation that they need to show up every day, wearing their leadership armour, and never let anyone see the cracks beneath the surface.

Yet, there are cracks, and they’re not just tiny hairline fractures; some are deep crevices threatening everything.

Nowhere is this more apparent than in the care sector. 

Here, employers carry not only the weight of their organisations but also the profound responsibility of looking after those in need.

Consider one of my clients in allied health. Her business is in high demand, with waitlists stretching for months. Despite her desire to help everyone, she’s constrained by limited resources. Finding qualified staff, especially in rural areas, is akin to finding a needle in a haystack.

Recently, one of her employees decided to leave for a competitor. Unfortunately, this wasn’t an isolated incident. The competition is fierce, with candidates being offered tempting incentives like hefty $5,000+ sign-on bonuses and generous personal development budgets.

It’s not that she doesn’t want to offer competitive packages; she’s limited by budget constraints and the number of billable hours in a day. Raising prices isn’t an option due to fixed National Disability Insurance Scheme (NDIS) rates, leaving her profitability stagnant and her options limited. 

Adding to her burden is the challenge of adapting to evolving employee expectations. She’s reporting her staff facing more personal issues than usual, including post-COVID divorces, along with a surge in leave requests, sickness, and cancellations. These aren’t just professional problems; they carry a profound personal weight that she shoulders.

Because when her staff can’t work for valid reasons, guess who has to pick up the pieces?

She’s just one of many business owners grappling with similar issues.

Let’s be clear — I’m not saying that her needs should take precedence over anyone else’s, or that her load is necessarily heavier. The point is simple: it’s time we acknowledge these challenges and engage in an open conversation about them.

We need to shine a light on the mental load that employers carry because when we do, we can come together to support their wellbeing. And guess what? That’s a crucial step toward building a more compassionate and sustainable future for all of us.

So, what can we do about it? Here’s a few ideas to get us started. 

Check-in with an employer

I mean it. They’ll often tell you they’re ‘fine’ because their teams are priority number one but in my experience, asking how they really are is where you’ll start to uncover the true story. And when you do, just listen.

Invest in wellbeing initiatives, and actually use them

Wellbeing programs aren’t just for employees; employers need them too, and one of the most effective ways of encouraging your employees to use the benefits of these initiatives is role modelling. 

Proactive recruitment strategies

To ease the burden on employers, let’s look at adopting proactive recruitment strategies. Hire before the need becomes dire, preventing rushed decisions due to desperation. Not easy in a tight employment market, but networking, having conversations with potential employees on social media, and developing relationships with universities or other education institutions so you know about their best graduates are all simple strategies we can adopt in a proactive way.

What do employees actually want? 

When recruiting, consider what truly motivates your ideal candidates, not what the news headlines suggest all employees are looking for. Then consider what you can sustainably offer without putting unnecessary pressure onto the rest of your structure. What I often see is that it’s not just about money; flexibility often tops the list and that flexibility usually looks different from what you think it might. 

Revisit your values

Often when there are huge opportunities for growth and success, employers can be caught up in the shiny new things. I get it, it’s exciting! But what often results is a business that we never really wanted, and a heavy workload taking us on a path we don’t want to be on. Employers who regularly revisit their personal values and individual goals are the ones whose efforts, although heavy, are worth carrying.

Leanne Hasting is the founder and chief HR consultant at Leanna J Consulting.