My new director is behaving like a child. Help!

This article first appeared October 6, 2011.

Dear Aunty B,

We have just had a director join our board who can be absolutely awful.

He is a very tall, imposing man who uses his height to intimidate. He swears a lot, leans across the table, bangs his fist and tries to intimidate you.

The other day he brought his dog into the boardroom which ran around yapping and annoyed the hell out of all of us, but when I suggested the dog should go outside and run around the garden he pointed out that I had brought my baby in so he could bring his dog. I had brought my baby in once when he was four months old and he slept the whole time!

Out of work this guy can be charming. So how do I reconcile the boardroom tyrant with the normal, reasonable bloke I know him to be?

Advice please!
Eastern seaboard

Dear Advice please,

I wonder if this fella hasn’t honed his skills at the top end of town?

I have never personally witnessed this but I have heard stories and read of many men of a certain age who behave badly in the boardroom. I think it is a deliberate ploy to quickly bring people to heel. Many people find a large, imposing man who yells very intimidating and rather than focus on the issue at hand, they are so uncomfortable that no one dares voice their true opinion. Everyone agrees with him and board meetings are sweet and short.

There is only one thing to do in a situation like this. Yell back! Mirror their actions. Swear, thump and carry on like a pork chop. It will take them by surprise, especially if you are a woman. Then lean back in your chair and ask them whether they think that behaviour is professional. Chances are they will agree and your problems will be over.

If not, try another tactic. Tell them that you suggest the meeting stops so they can have a chance to calm down. Point out that they are very worked up and probably can’t think clearly and it would be unprofessional to continue the meeting when they are in that state. That will make them madder and you can keep reinforcing the point in a calm voice until they storm out of the meeting and you can get some real work done.

If your baby is now a toddler, then just think of the techniques you employ when the baby has a tantrum and use those. Ignore the behaviour, emotionally stand outside the situation and then make it clear when there is any sign of calm air that the negative behaviour doesn’t achieve anything.

Be smart,
Your Aunty B

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