Should I tone down my OTT behaviour?

Dear Aunty B,

My colleague has advised me that I laugh too much, and that I am unprofessional and I need to become more professional.

I DO laugh a lot and I LOL. Especially when nervous or faced with a difficult, stressful situation. Is that always appropriate? No. But I am aware of it.

But Aunty B, what exactly IS the definition of professional? I am a relationship manager. I present “professionally” and I can hold an intelligent conversation and use big words.

I also wear a Santa Hat and Santa Apron at the Xmas BBQ I am holding at my customer’s premises. I can call a customer a boof head. And they agree.

In return I get a phone call when the competition visits and tries to undercut me. I am always welcome, even without an appointment. They look to me for solutions before anyone else.

What is your definition of professional Aunty B?

Bewildered

Dear Bewildered,

You are my definition of professional. You know why? You are questioning your behaviour. So someone has given you some feedback and instead of dismissing it out of hand like a sociopath – and the workplace is full of them – you are having a think about things. You have correctly noted that you are great at relationships. That is a terrific skill to have. Customers come to you for solutions so obviously you know your stuff. And you can barbeque.

But is there no room for you to improve? It doesn’t mean changing who you are. It doesn’t change your essence. It doesn’t change your ability to sell and look after your clients. It just means you improve some parts of your behaviour.

Now laughing is great! And studies show that laughing releases a lot of endorphins so you must wander around on some kind of weird natural high. Lucky you.

But I have news for you. Part of being professional is becoming more socially attuned to what is happening around you and responding appropriately to situations. It is learning to control some elements of your behaviour.

What you need to do is this. Think ahead. Are you going to be in a stressful situation? Yes? Then you tell yourself to try and be aware to tune it down a little. Practice some gestures such as bringing your hand up to your mouth and choking the laugh if someone tells you bad news. You will get the hang of it. Good behaviour is a bore for all of us. Professional behaviour is worse. Every year I feel incredibly resentful that as the boss I can’t get pissed at the office Christmas party, scream with laughter and do cartwheels across the room (which is my secret party trick). But my friend, we have to do it.

Be smart,
Your Aunty B

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