Should I seek fear or respect?

Dear Aunty B,

Several years ago I took over a rather moribund division of an organisation and had to whip it into shape, which I have done.

I had to move on about a third of that division as it had been used as a dumping ground by other divisions and was full of poor performing staff, while the good performers were demoralised.

It is now in good shape and I am proud of our people. But recently I was told by a manager that my staff feared me. I had always seen their attitude towards me as one of respect not fear and felt uncomfortable to hear they fear me. Should I worry? Or should I be like the smart teacher now I have set the tone and relax the rope a bit?

At the end of the day it is about getting the best performance out of them so I would like to know your thoughts.

LG,
Victoria

Dear LG,

How nice of you to ask. There was an interesting story recently in Harvard Business Review on this and it starts off by recalling countless studies that show the most effective leaders are those that give employees a voice, treat them with dignity and consistency and base decisions on accurate information. You know. The stuff that SmartCompany bangs on about. But guess what? The story by, well a lot of people, which came from New York University’s Stern School of Business, says it all: Why fair bosses fall behind.

See, they did some research asking this question: Can you have respect and power? And guess what? The answer was you can’t. The attitude they found expressed in a range of industries was that when it came to promotion people commented on a candidate being good because they were tough, not fair.

And it seems managers pick that up and see them as mutually exclusive, choosing to be powerful over being respected. Strangely the article then wanders off and decides to point out without any real proof that companies would benefit from placing more value on fairness when assessing performance. (Well, academics would say that.)

It does however make a few points worth thinking about that managers with a fair style can get power when they cultivate a reputation for ethics and morality, when the organisational structure is highly cooperative, and when the positions they are going for are not all that important, ie. when they are in a lowly management position in a not for profit (last bit was my summation).

What’s all that mean? Buggered if I know. I think you should go on doing what you are doing rather than worry about what people think about you. I know for a fact that my staff respect me but just the other day a staff member told me my nickname is The Nazi. Go figure. The fact you are in good shape and feeling proud of your people are all good signs. Carry on!

Be smart,
Your Aunty B

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