What’s the impact on your career when you reveal too much to your team mates?

Here in Melbourne we have been enjoying the Spring Racing Carnival. It’s a festive time in Melbourne; a time to dress up, go to the races and enjoy the atmosphere with friends, colleagues or clients.

I was invited to spend Oaks Day in a corporate tent with one of my clients which was fabulous. At the balcony next to one we were sitting on there was a young female executive enjoying the day with her male colleagues or possibly clients. As the day progressed, the champagne flowed and so did the level of information she was sharing. It started with business related topics, and then as the day wore on, to more personal topics… at a much higher volume/

It reminded me how we can quickly alter relationships with colleagues, bosses and clients and not always for the better. With the Christmas season approaching it may be a good time to remind ourselves about the impact on our careers and businesses when we decide to cross the line from behaviours that are appropriate for the professional environment to behaviours that are not.

It’s easy to slip when alcohol is flowing. Deciding prior to your events how much you are going to drink is wise. As is thinking through a strategy about how you are going to drink. For example, one of my clients never drinks before eating as she knows this will have a huge effect on her quickly. Another client always orders bottles of beer rather than pots or pints as a way of limiting his intake. One or two glasses of water to one glass of wine are a favourite of many of the people I spoke to.

Building relationships and rapport with our colleagues and clients is important and Spring Carnival and the lead up to Christmas are great opportunities to get together to do so, however being clear on the impact of sharing too much of our personal lives and not getting hammered is equally important.

Too much sharing has a negative impact on your career, on your team members, on productivity and on your reputation. It is damaging to your personal brand and potentially to your company’s. It’s only natural that when you work closely with a team of people that you will get to know about each other’s lives. However, being conscious about the level of detail you want to share and the impact that this can have is important. Take time to think about this as it relates to you and your team, you are the best person to decide where the line is for you.

So what is too much?

Intricate details about a relationship breakdown: When we give this level of detail to colleagues it can make them feel uncomfortable and it can also affect how we are viewed. We may inadvertently show a side of ourselves that could invite mistrust or doubt about our abilities or state of mind. This in turn can impact promotion, project allocation, sales, etc. If you are struggling with a relationship breakdown it’s important to get support. Get the support you need from friends outside of work and from a counsellor, either privately or through your EAP program.

Details about your romantic life: Regardless if you are enjoying a wonderful romantic life or a turbulent one, this information is best kept for friends and family and out of the work environment. Enough said!

Personal information that highlights your insecurities and weaknesses: Clients buy from you because they see your strengths and the value that you (and your product/company) bring. Bosses promote you on your strengths. Colleagues trust you for your abilities, values and strengths. When you reveal personal information that highlights your weaknesses you are potentially sabotaging your sales, reputation and promotion prospects. You can also end up becoming more vulnerable to colleagues who may not wish the best for you and have their own agenda. The feeling of vulnerability can breed distrust and resentment. It can also undermine confidence, both yours and the confidence others have in you. We all have insecurities and it’s important to work through these at times If you require support find this outside your professional environment with a professional counsellor, coach or a trusted mentor or friend.

Sharing negative opinions about your colleagues, bosses or the company you work for: It’s normal for people to occasionally feel dissatisfied with their employer, colleagues or clients. However, when this moves to open criticism then you are heading towards a fall. The impact of openly gossiping about or criticising others creates distrust. The person you are talking to will at some point wonder what you are saying about them. This type of behaviour and the comments you make usually has a way of circling back to you and it rarely reflects well on you.

Sharing team or department problems: Again, sharing issues that you are having as a team to others creates distrust and can be viewed as a betrayal. It undermines confidence in you and potentially in your team. You may also be seen as someone who is politically naive, someone who is unable to deal effectively with issues that arise, as well as someone who is unsupportive of their team members. Nothing about this situation will help with the issues that are occurring within the team. If you are having issues as a team begin by getting together to see if you can resolve them, if this isn’t working then use an outside mediator, facilitator, mentor or coach to help.

Enjoy the coming festivities and remember to focus on what outcomes you want for yourself professionally and how you can best support these outcomes. Get together with friends to let off steam, have fun and not worry too much about all this other stuff.

Pollyanna Lenkic is the founder of Perspectives Coaching, an Australian based coaching and training company. In 1990 she co-founded a specialist IT recruitment consultancy in London, which grew to employ 18 people and turnover £11 million ($27 million). In this blog Pollyanna answers questions from our readers on issues they are experiencing leading or being part of a team.  She offers insights on teams and team dynamics. For support and information on team days run by Perspectives Coaching see here. Her previous Blog for SmartCompany, 2nd Time Around was about the mistakes she made and the lessons she learned building a business the first time round and how to do it better second time round.