Do salespeople have to be phonies? I am not!

Dear Aunty B,

I am having a lot of trouble with a colleague who is a fake. If you were having lunch with him Aunty B, he would be serious and grumpy (like you.) If he was having lunch with Paris Hilton he would be vacuous and silly. If he was having lunch with the chairman of the board he would be deferential and po-faced. The other day we were seeing a client who mentioned he went to church on Sundays and the guy pretended he was a Catholic and spent the weekend on his knees (which he does but not to pray.)When he is himself he is a really nice guy, but I can’t stand it when he puts on an act. I have already tried talking to him about it but he says he does it deliberately because he sells more being fake. How can I get him to be himself? I have to sell alongside this guy every day and I am sick of it. And I believe that you can do your job better by being yourself.

Hate phonies,

Diane

Dear Hate Phonies,

Has it ever occurred to you that you are a nice person? Well, it should. Because when Mr Phoney is with you, he is adjusting his personality to you.

Look, the bloke’s not your friend. He is a colleague. He is obviously a good salesman. So why do you care? Besides, he is just doing the classic “walk in my shoes” routine. Clients don’t have time to adjust to your personality. You adjust to theirs. If they are brisk and businesslike, then get to the point. If they are chatty, love Turkish baths, cats and jogging, well there is something in that you can relate to.

Remember, people are the most comfortable with other people like themselves. Why do you think men keep appointing other men that look like them, sound like them and smell like them to board positions and then claim they have appointed the best person for the job? Huh?

So don’t be all hoity-toity about him. In fact, you could take a leaf out of his book. You could probably go into a meeting with a client and spend a bit more time listening and responding to the client’s interests and building relationships.

Good luck!

Your Aunty B