We’ve just called our most annoying customer a psycho. Help!

Dear Aunty B,

I have a crazy client who has just seen a really damaging email and I don’t know what to do. He is one of our largest clients, but for two years he has made our lives a misery. Even his employees tell me he is crazy.

He has huge mood swings, is irrational, a bully and full of himself. Sometimes at meetings he will talk about nothing but his “naughty daughter” (who he “spanks”!); at others he will berate us over the tiniest thing. Anyway, one of the ways we let off steam is to laugh about him in the office, including giving him the nickname Psycho Simon.  My problem is one of my staff has just told me that he accidently sent on to Psycho Simon an email that referred to him at the bottom as that.

What do I do? Do I go on the front foot and apologise? Do I make up some fib? (As if he won’t know to whom we are referring. His name is Simon!)

Or do I pretend nothing has happened and hope like hell he is in one of his crazy moods and not reading his emails – which happens. The problem is that if I apologise, I have absolutely no idea how he will respond, as he is quite unpredictable. I also don’t want him to take this out on my staff. But I do want his money.

Help!

Not Sorry Really

Dear Not Sorry Really,

Gee. Ever heard the expression that you cross a bridge when you come to it? Stop catastrophising. Chances are he never read to the bottom of the email and he is blissfully unaware that you spend your days seeking relief by mocking him. If he does see the email and turn even more psycho, you just hang your employee out to dry. Tell Psycho Simon that you have taken the offender off the account and reprimanded him. Fortunately the Psycho Simons of the world are quite delusional, and when you point out that he is your sanest client – and in fact a staff favourite – he will likely believe you.

Good luck!

Your Aunty B