Mr Big Noter isn’t going to get the job, but how do I explain?

Dear Aunty B,

I have a senior member of staff who is okay at his job but thinks he is fantastic. He always big notes himself, claims credit for things that happen and always focuses on the positive.

That is good for office morale as he is popular with staff and can often rev everyone up. The problem is he has put in for a leadership position in the senior management team and won’t get it. But will he accept that? No. I know this because when it happened last time that he missed a position, he accused a staff member of sabotaging his application, told us we were making a big mistake and then finally demeaned the position. There was no way he would accept that he didn’t have the skills for the job.

It didn’t help that his direct report got the job over him. I tried to cushion the blow by making sure that I mentioned lots of good things about him but was pretty clear on why he didn’t get the job. But he ignored all the bad and just repeated all the positive things.

Unless I spell things out this time around, we are going to go through the whole thing again.

Help!
Over Mr Big Noter

Dear Over Mr Big Noter,

Oh, I had a good laugh reading this. With skin like that who needs a hide? And may I say what a great strategist. He has a host of clever tactics to deflect criticism, shift blame, make you feel incompetent and that you are to blame. He should start a new religion or run the banking association.

First of all, let me say it is not that uncommon. Those who perform brilliantly often underestimate how good they are. That’s because they think that everyone is working at the same level. Plus the more highly developed your skills, the more you can recognise what you don’t know. On the other hand the lack of skills means you don’t have the ability or expertise to understand what you need to in order to do the job.

It sounds to me like this person is either lazy and can’t be bothered skilling up or he can’t step up and doesn’t know how. If you had done a good job performance managing him and not letting him manipulate you, you would not be in this position. This time around explain to him succinctly why he didn’t get the job and don’t let him talk until you are finished. (Gagging might be useful.)

Then go onto explain how he needs to improve in his current position. Make sure it is all written down and he clearly understands you will not stand for any sabotage nonsense and other criticism of the workplace. In this situation you don’t need tough love. You must be tough.

Good luck,
Your Aunty B