I dressed sexy and got condemned by the sisterhood.

Dear Aunty B,

I am absolutely furious. I recently gave a talk to a room of colleagues and my speech was written up in an industry website. But instead of focussing on what I said, there was a big discussion about what I was wearing. One woman came up afterwards and complimented me on what I was wearing and then suggested to me that if I wanted to be taken seriously I should look less “sexy”, as it is distracting!

It was an evening function so I had taken a dress to work to change and while it certainly wasn’t something I would have worn in the office, I felt it was appropriate for the occasion.

It feels like you can’t win as a woman in business. You dress in an attractive way and you are condemned by the sisterhood. You look boring and no one takes any notice of you.

What do you think Aunty?

Lou,
Sydney

Dear Lou,

When a male talks strategy, no one notices the suit he is wearing. I am sure you have heard that saying before. Is it true? Depends what pea brain you ask. If it was me in that room Lou, I would have been listening to your speech AND thinking how fabulous you looked. And afterwards? I would be commenting on the merits of what you said and what you do.

Look, if you are in business, you need a thick skin. You felt your dress was appropriate, you felt you looked great, you knew you had some great points to make… so good for you. Who cares what a handful of people think?

To some extent women at work, particularly at the upper levels, are still trail blazing. So blaze a trail, I say. Wear what you like if you think it is appropriate. And the men will follow.

Young men are already following suit, so to speak. They are opening the top buttons of their shirts, tossing the tie, loving pink and using moisturiser. And quite frankly there is an army of older men who could do with a makeover. As for the woman that deemed your dress too sexy, make sure you compliment her next time you see her. Maybe no one notices her enough!

Good luck!
Your Aunty B

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