How to cope in harsh times

Times are tough these days – financially and with a wide range of disasters happening more frequently in our lives. Many of us are being touched in ways that really tests our ability to cope.

So where do we start when there are so many different circumstances people find themselves in?

We are all different and respond differently – so what one person feels for a set of circumstances may be totally different to another person. Advice that helps one person may mean nothing to another person.

The most important thing is to not isolate yourself and be open to a range of people’s inputs, stories, articles and books.

Here is a range of suggestions and strategies:

1. Take control of your thinking patterns

Our emotional state varies and there is a delicate balance of positives and negatives, often evident by a set of thinking patterns or scripts we hold in our heads. In a disaster or during tough times – it is natural to go to an automatic negative feeling and thinking pattern, such as:

• “This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me”
  
• “I’m not coping at all” and;
  
• “I feel terrible. If only…”

We do have control over our own thinking and actions but rarely can we control events, actions and feelings of others. We cannot control natural disasters, accidents, sickness, and it’s natural to be in a state of grief, anger and aguish, but we can control how long we stay in that state.

Fear is a big blocker and often causes paralysis to kicks in. We get overwhelmed and a chain reaction occurs which paralyses us and we can shut down thinking: “It’s all too hard”.

So we need to focus on changing our thinking. Edit those negative thinking patterns: “I will cope. This is hard but I will get through. I am alive. I will survive.”

Focus on positives – think of advantages and pluses in any situation that paralyses you. Those personal messages can be very powerful and we hear incredible stories of survival and often it boils down to the will.

2. Focus on health and physical wellbeing

There is a tendency to slide into bad habits when things get tough – binge eating and drinking, excessive sugar and fast food, caffeine, gambling, smoking… this can only make it worse.

Walking, exercise, movement, massage, healthy eating – exercise is good and will help the body recover. Good nutrition will help in any situation – especially when things feel so bad, it’s important to give yourself every chance to feel well on the inside.

Give yourself “power scripts”: “Be healthy. Stay strong. Walk. I can do this. I will be well.”

Exercise can make a big difference when you are stressed and it’s too easy to think it’s too hard in tough times… but this is when it is most needed.

3. Take time to acknowledge and manage your feelings

If someone is seriously upset, angry, depressed… What should they do?

Allow time to get over the feelings.

“It’s okay to be angry…Time will help me heal …I don’t have to feel ashamed.”

Be a scientist and observer of your own life and behaviour – step away from the emotion and get factual about what is best for you.

Write a diary of your feelings – something to clarify your thoughts and feelings. People will tell you it will be okay, time heals – but that may even upset you more. So write down what you are thinking and feeling. Often going back over what you wrote can help you see you have moved on.

Do some relaxation training or take up tai chi or yoga to counteract it.

Through pain comes understanding and learning. Through loss comes new opportunities… Just take it bit by bit.

Next week I will offer some more strategies.

View: Clip How to Cope in Harsh Times.

Eve Ash has written some powerful books and created many award-winning videos to help people manage their lives and their minds to achieve success.